And That’s Why Birds Do It…
Spring seems to be coming to Vermont and the birds are all a twitter. Chickadees are crooning their “hey, sweetie” song and the male cardinal in the neighborhood is making sure everyone knows he’s ready to get it on. That ray gun-like song is like Barry White to the female cardinal apparently.
While watching the male set the mood in the maple tree outside our apartment yesterday, my boyfriend turns to me and says, “How do they do it?” Huh, yeah…ummm. “Well, he mounts her from behind and then…” And then, I couldn’t answer the rest. I’ve always made reference to the cloacal kiss, but I really couldn’t go much farther than that. A male bird’s parts are internal, but how does that work? What does happen next? Of course I had to find out. Here’s the down-n-dirty…
The Cloacal Kiss - Most male birds do not have a penis (I’ll get back to that in a moment), they have a cloaca. A female bird has a cloaca too. What’s a cloaca look like? Well, imagine a pudgy donut without a hole or if you need the real thing, look here. Birds both reproduce and defecate with this pudgy donut. To reproduce, the male mounts the female, the female tips her tail to the side and – smooch – the cloacal kiss. This is the quick-n-dirty and it happens just long enough for the male to pass sperm to the female. And get this…the male even has his own french tickler! A set of feathers along the pucker of the cloaca to help direct the sperm.
Back to Bird Penises - You thought the french tickler was freaky? Just wait… Some birds do have penises, they are coiled inside their bodies. Waterfowl, ducks & swans, and large birds like the ostrich are so internally endowed. Scientists believe the presence of a phallus in some birds is one of the characteristics connecting them evolutionarily with reptiles. I won’t go into the reason for the corkscrew shape, or the aggressive tendencies of waterfowl. I will tell you that I had a good laugh with my boyfriend theorizing how ducks couple.
Other Saucy Stuff:
Hilton Pond Banding Station & Pudgy Donuts
Image: The Birds do it, so let’s fall in Love (2007) by James Rizzi
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